I have begun to realize that what most irritates me about the behavior of other people is often what is most a problem with my own personality. This realization became most obvious to me over the weekend as I trained another employee for the company I work for.

The new person is an alcoholic and had obviously been drinking before he arrived. I drank and smoked pot for many years before I became clean and sober and was fired from a couple of jobs for my chemical abuse and the resulting behaviors. It was perfectly obvious to me that he was using and when I confronted him about it, he displayed the same behaviors I did years ago, denial, condescension, an “oh, don’t worry about it- I’m fine” sort of dismissing of my worries. I don’t want to be a hypocrite and come down hard on him because I was guilty of the same behavior in other jobs years ago. However, had someone come down hard on me then, I might have found sobriety a lot sooner. 

I also find it distasteful to be around mediocrities who feel the need to patronize others and act as if they are God’s gift to whatever whatever they are involved in. I tend to believe they know they are mediocrities and are overcompensating for their perceived deficiencies. I believe this because this is the behavior I engaged in for a long time. I hope I have moved past that and have a more realistic view of my abilities and my place in the world, but I can still have trouble climbing down off my high horse.

Any thoughts?