I have begun to realize that what most irritates me about the behavior of other people is often what is most a problem with my own personality. This realization became most obvious to me over the weekend as I trained another employee for the company I work for.
The new person is an alcoholic and had obviously been drinking before he arrived. I drank and smoked pot for many years before I became clean and sober and was fired from a couple of jobs for my chemical abuse and the resulting behaviors. It was perfectly obvious to me that he was using and when I confronted him about it, he displayed the same behaviors I did years ago, denial, condescension, an “oh, don’t worry about it- I’m fine” sort of dismissing of my worries. I don’t want to be a hypocrite and come down hard on him because I was guilty of the same behavior in other jobs years ago. However, had someone come down hard on me then, I might have found sobriety a lot sooner.
I also find it distasteful to be around mediocrities who feel the need to patronize others and act as if they are God’s gift to whatever whatever they are involved in. I tend to believe they know they are mediocrities and are overcompensating for their perceived deficiencies. I believe this because this is the behavior I engaged in for a long time. I hope I have moved past that and have a more realistic view of my abilities and my place in the world, but I can still have trouble climbing down off my high horse.
Any thoughts?
I’ve done that too. I think it’s just hard to see yourself in other people. Especially if it’s the negative stuff.
If you really feel the need to talk to the guy, you could just tell him what you have been through. And let him know that you see the same thing in him doing the same things you did.
A little “tough love” never hurt anyone.